I like the feeling I feel when it is late at night, and I am lying in bed, and thinking about everyone else laying in their beds. Everyone is so vulnerable right now. It reminds me how no one really has much of a clue what is going on. Even the most basic question of why is there something instead of nothing is impossible out of reach.
I like thinking about how everyone has bad things happen a lot and we all carry heavy burdens, but that it is okay because that is just how things are. None of us have anyone to impress even though sometimes we feel like it. We have millions of years of evolution that have given us certain proclivities. Some are great and help keep us alive, like getting thirsty when we are dehydrated, or empathy, or our sense of fairness. These are traits we share with primates. Many of our morals that we think are the products of our culture or were handed down from god are actually shared by our primate cousins and are deeply rooted in our biology. others not so great like feeling concern about approval by the group, or people trying to become the alpha male.
But when It is late at night like it is now I think of all these things and i feel a distance from it. I feel like I am seeing it all as if I am an outsider and so I don't feel how deeply emotional it all is. I am feeling so sleepy, my eyes are closing then opening. i don't know why i am still typing. I have a bunch of things I have been meaning to write but haven't gotten around to it.

1 comment:

Vincent said...

Have you ever read Proust? If I remember rightly, his first few pages are about the feeling of lying in bed at night.

You are a natural philosopher. I don't mean a natural philosopher in the old-fashioned sense which they used before the word scientist was invented (a philosopher of the natural world).