We have been on the road lately. This is my first time being on the internet for more than a few moments. Funny and interesting things have happened, but nothing comes to mind immediately. We went to Knotts Berry farms and Phoenix Arizona and Beagle Mountain Utah and are still in Beagle Mountain Utah. We have seen lots of friends and family. Though not as much family as I would like. Haven't seen my brother in over a year now. Eaten lots of food opened lots of presents. We got a vacuum so we can clean up the 3 months worth of pine needles that have accumulated on our carpet making our living room have the benefits of both a home and a forest floor.
We saw both 'Avatar' and 'Where the Wild Things Are' and loved both. I think I may have loved Where the Wild Things Are' more than 'Avatar'. I keep remembering the scene in WtWTA when Carol asks Max if he can keep them safe from sadness and loneliness. It was such a sad and beautiful scene.
Christmas time is fun. Christmas itself is okay but Christmas time is enjoyable. I like the feeling of everyone I know doing the same sort of thing. It creates a nice feeling of unity and togetherness even if we are not actually together doing the same thing. Just the idea that everyone I know is doing the same sort of thing is enjoyable to me.
I have 11 more credits before I graduate from college. It has taken me a long time so I am very excited about this. I need to come up with 6000$ before January 5th for me to graduate by March when I am expecting. It makes me worried that this won't work out. I will find out tomorrow. Hopefully everything works out. Right?



I think what Hitler's problem actually was,was that he killed so many people.


diversity. and neighbors

The neighbor who shares a wall with us is a Japenese American with long hair an a goatee. He has a very loud voice and tends to rant frequently. He yells at his girlfriend (who is also our neighbor) and throws things against our shared wall. He has a sticker on his SUV that reads 'next door neighbors: singing, dancing and cutting people' He has never cut me, or anyone else as far as I have been aware. Every time I have encountered him he has been friendly and once told Marissa and I that we are awesome neighbors.
A handful of times I have locked my door during one of his berzerker phases because I thought it was possible he might come into my apartment. Once he and some friends were up late being loud and listening to music while Marissa and I were trying to sleep so I knocked 3 times on the wall and I heard him say to his friends that he didn't care if we were upset and that if necessary he would come over to our apartment and beat us up. I have several times heard him threaten to beat people up. One person he apparently owes money to, but doesn't mind because he 'is tough' and can take up to 'three of them'.
His girlfriend is very quiet and I almost never hear her speak. One of the few times I heard her she was talking about getting a gym membership, which caused him to go on a rant about how it was a bad idea because she would maybe go once or twice then never again.
Whenever I hear him I feel better about myself because whatever faults I have I am much kinder than he is. And my voice is not nearly as loud. And I don't watch 10 episodes of M*A*S*H each day. And I do things besides watch M*A*S*H, yell or play video games.
The wall we share is very thin in terms of sound. Sometimes I can hear farts or burps. We often keep the fan on our stove on to block out the sound. Recently I have noticed that it seems they having begun keeping their hood fan on. They also keep their downstairs windows blocked out from light for some reason. The layout of our apartments are mirror images of each other, so I am intimately familiar of the layout of their apartment. I know that their downstairs is naturally very dark because ours is. I try and let as much light in as I can downstairs. In the winter time the sun sets here around 4:30 so sunlight feels like a precious commodity. That they would want to make their living room even darker than it already is, is something I find unusual and unrelatable. I sometimes wonder what our neighbors think of us. Whenever I have written about our nieghbor online a part of me worries that he is somehow aware of it. I'm not sure he even knows my name though.
One time he was talking to a friend loudly and Marissa and I paused whatever we were doing to listen and I then heard our neighbor whisper to his friend "I think our neighbors are listening"
Earlier this evening one of my classmates who happens to be about 55 years old and a woman brought out a marijuana pipe and offered it to any of the other 4 people who were in the studio today who wanted a 'toke', which was taken inside of the classroom.


That smell in the air which happens when it is cold and about to snow has arrived in Olympia. It creates a nostalgic and warm feeling inside of me. The sun setting at 4:30 can sometimes be a burden, but I very much enjoy the cozy feeling of being inside a warm bright house when it is cold and dark outside. It seems introverts very much like this womb, heavy sweater and slippers cozy feeling, while extroverts, in general, prefer the sunny outdoor swimming in a lake feeling. I am by nature an introvert.


I think that of all the things which cause me to feel negatively towards religion in general, or Mormonism specifically, is that it causes people who masturbate to feel as if they are evil, despite how 'good' of a person they may actually be.


I have had many different thoughts over the past few months, but have been having a hard time with language, which is why I haven't written much in here. The language part of my brain has felt very foggy lately, but over the past few weeks, the fog has seemed to lift. Hopefully I will write about this mind fog as well as other things.

One thing I will mention now, is that at one point my mind became so foggy that while in class I would think 'so this is what it feels like to be a dumb person' while barely understanding what my teacher was saying. I also felt a greater empathy for people who speak in clichés. When your thoughts are not clear, clichés come to mind easily. I tried to avoid it, but when I had a hard time thinking of what words best described what I wanted to say and cliché statements first came to mind, it was very tempting to use them.


One thing I learned while working the graveyard shift at a youth correction facility is that somehow, even if eating the exact same foods and doing nearly the exact same thing all day girls smell much better than boys while they sleep. (we had to do bed checks every fifteen minutes and boys rooms always smelled bad while girls rooms always smelled nice.)


If asphalt were replaced with nards, driving, and probably life in general would be a bit harder.