police. bumper sticker. dreamsicle.

I recently bought a bumper sticker which reads 'Fight Patriotism'.

I have been wanting a bumper sticker like this for a couple years. I did not necessarily have those two words in mind, rather something that expressed my feelings about how destructive a force I believe patriotism to be.

After I put the sticker on my car I was thinking of how it may raise the eyebrows of my Uber conservative neighbors. Then I thought how the same process which would cause my neighbors eyebrows to raise would cause police officers to want an excuse for pulling me over.

Sure enough just a few days after putting applying the sticker to my car I was pulled over for the first time in years.

The cop ran my plates and saw they have been reported as 'sold' (I bought the car from Jeff, but haven't had the $ to register it nor have I had the car actually signed over to me by Jeff). Why this cop decided to run my plates would be a total mystery, unless I factor in that sticker. I wasn't speeding nor anything else illegal. He mentioned no other reason for pulling me over than that he had ran my plates.

He then tried to confiscate the plates when my bad luck turned slightly less so upon our discovery of the plates being bolted to the car and he not having the appropriate tools. He told me to take them off as soon as I got home but I honestly can't figure out how. The bolt is flat on top and smooth all the way around.

An awkward moment happened a few moments later when I decided to drive to my studio and the same officer was parked a block from my house. I decided to park my car, get out, go tell the officer I couldn't figure out how to remove the plates, explain I really needed to drive that day and had no other transportation. I figured that might win his sympathies and save me his wrath, allowing me to continue driving with the plates. Which it did.

Since then, each night I have dream of me interacting with authority figures like policemen, but not always policemen, and then doing something revolutionary to overcome them. This morning I woke up disappointed realizing the great revolutionary struggle I had been having all night long was only make believe.


Vincent said...

I loved this. Excellent post!

Chris Almond said...

thanks vincent