Birthday.

It was my birthday a few days ago. Marissa and I went camping at the beach and then I didn't even check my email till yesterday. Lately, whenever circumstances leads me to not check my email one day, I find myself then putting it off for one, maybe two or three more days, knowing I will have an overwhelming amount of emails to respond to. Even though I know that putting it off even more just increases the pile up.
I started a new blog. If you click on my profile, you can get the link.
Here are some birthday photos:



At the Dollar store ($) Marissa came across and purchased two kites. They worked a little better than I imagined, but despite the perfect weather for kite flying, we weren't able to get them above 5 feet in the air.


Even though I don't typically like to support businesses like Burger King, nor do I generally enjoy the food they offer, the BK VEGGIE is one of the best, possibly the best veggie burger I have had. I try not to eat them too often. I think of them as sort of a guilty pleasure. But on special days, such as my birthday, I love to eat one. Marissa had one as well. It was her first. She enjoyed it, even though she got it without the toppings, which, in my mind, is what makes it so good. She also got it with a slice of Swiss cheese on BOTH sides of the patty.


This wasn't on my birthday. But it IS a photograph. We are playing Magic the Gathering in Priest Point Park. A stunningly beautiful park in Olympia. Marissa as talking on the phone a while ago to one of her friends and mentioned that we had been playing the card game 'Magic the Gathering' her friend asked if it was a cult. I found and find this so so funny. What would it mean for a game to be a cult?



We came across this jealous jelly fish on the beach. It was the first Jelly fish I have seen with my own eyes.



We decided to hop in the water and see if we could find more jelly fish.

At Bk still.


Curious about the texture and durability of the jelly fish, I poked it and pushed it with my foot until it kind of broke apart. I ended up kicking it really hard to see how it would withstand. I felt kind of gross while I was doing it. I am not sure if the jelly fish was alive and I am not sure if Jelly fish have an advanced enough nervous system that it could feel any pain, but I felt bad destroying, with my foot, a living Jell-o dish.

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To wrap everything up, I would like to which everyone a happy 420. I would like to wish everyone a sober and sad Hitler's birthday and Columbine anniversary. But, if it is getting you too down to think about it, you should get high on Marijuana.

<3

Even though whenever movies (which is most big budget movies being made today) have themes about how the power of love overcomes all obstacles I like to make fun of it with all the force my wit affords me, the difficult aspects of life really are easier when you are with someone you love.

Today, all day was spent running errands, which would normally be uninspiring and taxing was very enjoyable because Marissa was with me.

Having Marissa here with me in Olympia makes these dark and cold days of winter, which is normally the most difficult time of year a pleasure. Laying in bed, being lazy, eating pizza and watching "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia".

Today we went to a mediocre Thai restaurant and as we were being led to our seat we overheard the waitress saying to a nearby table saying "...that's because they don't have peas in carrots in Thai..land or whatver"

xxx-mas

It is Christmas Eve. Oh, I guess now it is Christmas.
I like some of the stuff Jesus may have said, but I would not consider myself a Christian, but I still celebrate Christmas.
In some ways Christmas is just another day to me. I enjoy the holiday season. Things feel fun and exciting, but Christmas itself doesn't feel much different than other days around this time. It is kind of fun giving and receiving presents, but there are many things I enjoy much more. Any day that has a lot of expectations to be a particular way I think is unlikely to fulfill those expectations. I often have good experiences and memories created around the holiday time, but rarely are those moments actually on Christmas day. Christmas usually feels chaotic with lots of kids around being kind of selfish about their toys and kind of loud. It is fun, and I enjoy kids, but it isn't the highlight of the year. Often the good times are on Christmas Eve, playing games and watching movies with my family without the young kids being wacky. Tonight was good, I spent time at my sister Amy's house. We watched Hellboy 2 and Flight of the Concords, we also talked and made jokes and I ate an individually packaged pickle and saved the pickle juice in a cup and made my sister's couch smell like my arm pit, but Christmas time definitely isn't the same without my brother and his wife around.

Speaking of expectations. It is now a little more than 24 hours till I pick Marissa up from the airport. This is a highly anticipated moment, that I do not think will be an example of unmet expectations. Reuniting with a person is different than a holiday. Marissa described our reuniting as being the most highly anticipated moment of her life and I would say the same applies for myself.

I want to write an entry explaining why I feel so strongly about Marissa. I was thinking I might write that entry right now, but I want be able to fully articulate my thoughts and I am probably too sleepy right now to do it justice.
One thing I realized a little while ago, is that even if I were not in love with Marissa I would want to marry her. I don't think love should be the primary reason people should marry. Love is fickle and chemical, and won't, in and of itself hold a relationship together because it is not substantial. People did not marry for love until somewhat recently. Probably the early 1700's ish. When people did start marrying for love, it was controversial and looked down upon. People wrote passionately against love induced marriage. They felt that if people began to marry for love, then what would there be to hold the couple together when their love waned, as it almost always would(typically the infatuation stage only lasts about 1-3 years, but recently, some very interesting research showed that showed in a small minority of couples it never seems to wane), at some point in time. It was thought that if marriage was done for love, then the divorce rate would increase, and those people were correct, the divorce rate went way up.(when women were allowed to divorce without husband's permission the suicide rate for women went down significantly) However, I also imagine that people were able to have much more fulfilling relationships.

Although I am deeply in love with Marissa, she is so much the type of person I would, with my rational thinking, like to spend my life with, that even if I were not in love with her, I would want create a family with her.

One benefit of having had several serious relationships and having been in love before, is being able to better recognize the need for attempting to view a person rationally when considering a romantic relationship. There have been girls I felt very strongly about, while being able to recognize traits in them I found undesirable. Because of the biological reaction I had to them, I was initially able to look beyond those unwelcome attributes. But as time passed, and the oxytocin left my blood stream, those same traits became great obstacles towards having a healthy and fulfilling relationship. The first few times this sort of thing happened, it was sad and confusing. It troubled me that I could have felt so strongly at one time, then later feel so different.

I learned that while relationships are a very emotional thing, one can not trust their emotions as a good indicator of who one can have a healthy and fulfilling relationship with. Which is brings me back to Marissa. All of those traits I have learned to recognize as red flags for relationship trouble are absent in Marissa. And all those traits I have come to see as desirable in having thriving relationship are present.

Of course I very much enjoy being with Marissa and see her as my best friend. She is a person I admire and connect with on all levels, she also has the relationship and human being skills I see as necessary to having a happy and fulfilling relationship, and without that, after time those other things would not be able to be realized and appreciated.

I remember one time a person signed an email to me 'your friend in a world of foes' (which is ironic, because she is one of the very few people in this world I would think of as a 'foe'). I think that very well describes what it feels like for me knowing Marissa. That she is my friend in a world of Foes. Not that I see the world as being made up of foes, but no one else feel so fully 'on my side'. With Marissa there is never any sense of competition or struggle in the slightest. Only kindness, giving, compassion and empathy. We have been dating for... I guess about 4 months now?, and while we do not agree on everything, there has never been even a moment that felt like tension, let alone a fight. All of the attributes I have tried hard to cultivate in myself in terms of interacting with others, I feel come natural to her. In Ukraine she was told by the Principal's wife that not only was she their best teacher, but the best teacher they had ever had. This doesn't surprise me, because she is so good at being emotionally giving and present.

I took this screen shot as we were video chatting recently. I was amazed at how clear the image is. She got a new Macbook, which I think has something to do with it. it almost looks like a photograph.

What I want from a home.

I often think about the house I hope to have one day. I have many many ideas. As a former architecture major I spent an enormous amount of time thinking about what makes a good house. So much so in fact, that was part of the reason I changed majors. I was far too obsessed with houses. I would myself losing sleep about what I would like to see built.

But unlike other arts, there was little I could do about it. I could sketch it in a notebook, or even make a 3-dimensional rendering with a computer, or build small scale models, and I did all these things, but that was only partially fulfilling. Even after I would have graduated and become a licensed architect, it would still be many many years before I would actually be able to have my designs built. One often does not become an actually 'architect' until they are 40 or 50. Before that time they are a draftsman for an architect. Actual architects usually just make rough sketches which their draftsman make into plans that can be built from. A person must either move up in their company until they are head architect, or start their own firm, which would likely not receive much solicitation for a long time. I felt such a burning desire to create buildings, yet not only did I not have an outlet for this, and knew I would not for many many years.

Also unlike other arts, architecture cannot be easily escaped. Almost anywhere one goes, a person is surrounded by buildings. Being surrounded by buildings, I would constantly be thinking about what I would do differently. Growing up in Utah, where the architecture is monotonous and uninspiring, I felt frustrated by my inability to do anything about the the buildings by which I was surrounded. Once I finally gave up the desire to be an architect I felt released from that.

Though I still think about buildings and designs, my sketch books often contain a handful of floor plans and renderings, but I no longer obsess over it.

There are some things I would really love to have in my house:

A sacred or holy room. This would be a room that would be simple and uncluttered. Full of light and good feelings. It would be a place of quiet one could go to meditate, pray, or possible read. It wouldn't have much in it, it would be a place to get away from the worlds. I imagine it having plants and big windows allowing lots of light and an attractive view of plants or water something. I think it would be nice if this was something common to all houses. If people had such a room, they would be more inclined to take time out of their day to sit in silence and feel the warmth of the universe.







Rooms like wide hallways:
I love rooms that are very long, with one wall being all windows.









A library:

We all know what a library is.

Hallways with windows.

I love hallways that have windows on one side and doors or whatever on the other side.

A studio:
This would maybe be attached to the house, or a little building built near the house.

A tea room:

For tea ceremonies. This would need to be in a separate small building outside the house as a part of the tea ceremony is walking the path leading to the tea room.












A very large kitchen with a very large dining area.

Kitchen's are one of the most important parts of a house. People spend a great deal of time in them. I think a good kitchen should be open and light, with enough space it feels uncluttered yet one can still have all the necessities of a kitchen. Below are two kitchens I like. Though I think the first could use more natural light.





A cool bathroom with a nice bathtub because I love taking baths. I like bathrooms with lots of wood.:










I want a small house. In my opinion big houses are silly. They waste lots of space. My grandpa(one of the co-founders of Enron) has an enormous house, yet all his time is spent in his library/study, or the kitchen/breakfast nook, or the bedroom. He has this gigantic entry way, yet he himself enters through the garage into a little side room. This is typical of many houses. The entry is one of the largest, most elaborate parts of the house, yet that isn't even the door the home owner typically uses. It is just to impress guests and waste space. He has a giant size living room, but it isn't a comfortable place to be in and no one ever uses it, except, perhaps, for parties. I think when building a house the money would be better spent being invested into nice materials and craftsmanship, rather than large size.

I would also like to have a large vegetable garden where I can grow as much of my own food as I can. I love it when gardens are in the front and back yard. This also cuts down on grass which is a big water waster. But some grass is nice, for kids to play on, and bbqs and back yard parties. I would like a flower garden because flowers are pretty. I would like a greenhouse to allow year round growing. I would like a variety of fruit trees.