I'm done with college.

I've finished my undergraduate degree. I haven't yet graduated(i think that is next week), but aside from writing my self evaluation, I'm done with all the work. It feels very good. It has been almost exactly 10 years since I graduated high school. I took a lot of time off school, some was my fault, some wasn't. There were times when I wasn't sure if I would ever actually finish, so it feels good to have finally done so. Now on to grad school.

Here are some photos of the piece I have been working on all quarter. I have never spent so much time on one single piece. It was very gratifying to work so long and so hard on one thing.

My class has a show up of our quarters work. I was impressed with the quality of my classmates work. We had a really great teacher, Matt Hamon. A nice guy who really challenged us about our work. He challenged us both aesthetically and philosophically. He almost forced people to think deeply about what they made and why. I had never had a teacher so philosophically inclined before. It was very nice because I've often wished art classes were more intellectually challenging.
Here is the piece and below it is my Artist Statement.

The entire piece folds up and can be carried on one's back. I wish I had a photo of it folded up, but I was rushed when putting it together to put in the show. After I take the show down I will take some better photos, including photos of me carrying it on my back.





This was my artist statement for the piece:

Our relationship with nature is pretty weird. We have spent much of our existence as humans going to great lengths to liberate ourselves from its destructive powers yet we also celebrate it through all forms of art. We label our products with 'all natural' to tempt people into purchasing it. We romanticize nature to extreme degrees, myself included. We have zoos and nature reserves which allow us to experience nature in safe ways. We have taken nature and removed it from Nature. We have romanticized it and compartmentalized it.

We value things which are 'Natural' yet most of nature is harmful to humans. Disease, natural disasters and wild animals ravage human beings at worst, are entirely indifferent to us at best. For much of our existence we were in a constant struggle against the wild and only recently have begun to 'win' the battle. However, as much as we have fought against and protected ourselves from nature we have also celebrated it. Nature is, after all, very very beautiful.

In our modern world, nature is little more than a symbol to most of us. We may have wolves on our t-shirts or paintings on our wall, but how many of us have actually encountered a wild wolf? Even if we could, would we want to? What do these symbols mean to us?

Nature and animals have been a common theme throughout the history of art. Making art of nature is the ultimate romantization and compartmentalization of it. We use animals as symbols of human emotions and behavior. We make images of nature to stand in proxy of actual nature to the point where the images have come to supersede nature itself. We are now much more familiar with romantic representations of many animals than the actual animals themselves. How often when seeing a beautiful setting does a person think that it looks like a painting or a photo? In many ways paintings and photos of nature have become more 'real' to us than nature itself. One reason for this is simple, Nature is dangerous paintings are not. Nature wants us dead. Paintings of nature don't. Art allow us to experience 'The Wild' in a way that is safe and comfortable and in doing so it transcends the very thing it is seeking to depict. We love nature, but only insofar as we can keep it tame, in our control and beautiful. This is what my piece is about.

Art Show. Parents.

In a couple days, tomorrow, saturday I will be driving to Utah for my art show.
Every one is invited to attend. The show is at Coal Umbrella. My good friend Greg Caldwell will also have pottery for sale in the back room of Coal Umbrella.

I am thinking of having Butternut Squash soup because I love it and soup is a good Autumn food. There will also be tea and hot chocolate. Maybe some some sweets, I am not sure. Does anyone have any food suggestions? Or want to help me make the soup? Or help me make some other food?

This will be my first solo show and I am very excited for it. I have put a lot of work into it. There will be many paintings, ceramic tiles, dioramas, and wooden cut outs. I have been working on a coffee table book that I had hoped to have for sale at the show, but I don't think it will be ready in time. Everything will be for sale, fairly cheap.

Here is a flier I made for the show. I photographed it with the Macbook photobooth, which reverses things, so make sure to look at it in a mirror:




Here are some examples of some things that will be for sale:















And I got a new sweater:



I bought it from a South American man who sets up at my school as it approaches Christmas time selling hand made goods from his home country I can't remember which one. I was looking at, and admiring this sweater, and mentioned how much I want it, but won't be able to buy it for a while. The man was kind enough to let me take it now and pay him later. I wanted to give him something for collateral, but all I could find was an ID from a check cashing place, I wouldn't care even a little if I never got back, but I left it with him anyway.

Totally unrelated. It seems parents frequently don't realize how thoroughly counter productive their efforts to mold their children in their ideal image are. I can understand a mother's concern for her daughters well being, but behaving in certain ways seems only to reinforce the undesirability of particular ideologies.

One important exception to this rule is my brother's desire to turn his son Elliot into a steam boat captain.

Situations like these remind me of one of Bahu'u'llah's most well liked quotes: 'If religion is a source of disunity, it is better to have no religion at all.'

It also reminds me of in unhealthy romantic relationships, where one partner likes the other one more than the other, or one wants to break up with the other, so the one with the lower hand does all they can to try and compel the other into liking them, becoming emotionally draining, having the opposite of the intended effect. I think almost everyone has within us a resistance to feeling forced, especially emotionally forced. This creates very frustrating situations for the one doing the forcing. Damned if you do, damned if you don't type feelings. They may realize that if they try and force someone to like them, it pushes that away, but if they do nothing, they fear their love may slip away (though in reality, the other will often feel attracted to that sense of emotional independence)

While not exactly the same sort of situation as with a parent and child, they are similar in that damned if you do, damned if you don't type feeling I imagine a parent must feel. So I can sympathize with the frustration likely felt when a parent sees their child developing beliefs they see as incorrect. They want to do something, yet by doing something it seems to have the opposite effect. And by doing nothing they fear the child will slip into oblivion.

I see that as something unfortunate and dangerous about religion. Otherwise moral people can be seen as bad, because they do not share certain beliefs. Belief is not, and should not be a choice, and so has no moral value, yet religion often confuses this. Creating disharmony when there needn't be any.

Situations like these are also good reminders to me for when I am a parent. I would like to think it is not in my personality to try and compel another person to fit a certain mold, but often we don't realize certain aspects of ourselves until faced with certain situations. When I have little Mashas and Boris' of my own, I hope I can use recent events to remind me of the sort of parent I want to be.

(I was deliberately sort of vague about some things. I guess I don't feel it is my place to be more specific. I will just say that I am not speaking of my own parents. Though I once had conflict with them over similar issues, it has long since been resolved and we are closer than ever.)

Also, one last thing (phew)
Since it is halloween I am wearing a costume today. I already have been downtown ad it appears to be a hit.
Even though I have worn the same costume for the past 8 years,

I guess I forgot to bring it with me when I moved. Which is SUCH a bummer. (in reality, I had no emotional response when i realized i had forgotten it. I a m a r o b o t).



Here is my costume for today. I guess it is obvious from the photo, but in case not, I am dressed as god.