Finding God.

Sometimes I imagine if I found out in a way I could not deny that God was real.
Not only real, but has all the attributes normally ascribed to him by Christianity.

An all powerful being who chose to use his power to create billions of other individuals for the sole purpose of submitting them to an excruciating and arbitrary test of his own design whose punishment for failure is eternal suffering and the reward for passing is the mildly better having to spend an eternity worshiping at his feet because he apparently enjoys extraordinary amounts attention. (in these regards I find the Mormon God more likable than the standard Christian God)

The reason this 'reward' is better is because one apparently feels really good the entire time, even though an eternity worshiping another being sounds unbearable tedious.

As if this fellow didn't seem unpleasant enough, he is apparently homophobic, sometimes a racist and may or may not be a misogynist.

So I wonder, what would I do if I had certain knowledge that such a being existed?

I would not want to express any positive feelings towards an individual I felt was so devoid of decency and morality let alone worship him, yet I also wouldn't want to spend an eternity suffering. Would it be worth my while to serve a bad master just to spend an eternity feeling high? If the alternative is endless pain, then it probably would be.

But could I fake it? Would God let me into heaven if he knew I was just going through the motions and didn't really think he was a great guy? I don't know. Probably not.

What if God's intentions were actually the opposite of what people think. What if he laid down unusual rules to see who would have the gumption to think for themselves and value reason, independent though and compassion over obedience and reward. Even if that were the case, it would still seem cruel. Why bother testing people in such a weird way?

Why punish or reward beings who you made? Whatever failings they may have would be your fault, since it was you who made them lacking in sufficient knowledge, endurance or ability to successfully complete the test, so why hold them responsible?

Were the Lds conception of the pre-mortal life real, I think I would have taken Lucifer's side. I would much rather give up my free will, (which I don't know if I believe in anyway) then risk the possibility that me, or anyone I know would spend an eternity suffering.