I haven't written much in this blog lately. I have hardly been online much lately.
One reason I haven't written much in this blog is, i think, it is locked.
I realized that when I know exactly who is able to read my blog, I feel less inclined to write. When writing for a set list of people, it then feels more as if I am sending a mass email.
When I write, as I imagine most others do, I picture the audience I am writing for, and when write something to be read by many people, I tend to write towards the audience of one person specifically. It helps me clarify my thoughts, being able to imagine the response the hypothetical person might have. Rarely do I think of any actual person, but rather an imaginary audience member who is inclined to disagree with and look for loopholes in what I write. When my blog is free for anyone to read, it is easy to imagine that such a hypothetical audience member may actually be reading my blog, but when it is locked, and I am familiar with all of my audience I find that more difficult and thus, feel less inclination to write.
This isn't all of it, but I think this is most of it. Because of this, I am going to start a new blog that won't be locked, but will be a tad more secret than this blog. Mostly more secret to the paolacci family.
In other news, I have been so lazy the past couple weeks. Though I have been reading lots of good books. I read a really well written and insightful book on Mormonism which caused me to, for a couple days, consider going back to Church. It isn't that this book caused me to believe in Mormonism again, but it reminded me of the advantages that came from being apart of such an organization. (Marissa and I have also been watching Big Love, which I think played a role in my thinking about the Church often.)
Over the next several days I immersed myself in reading Mormon related material in a way I have not for a while now. Over the course of about a week I went through a miniature conversion to apostasy. It reminded me of the latter days of being a Church member when I wanted to belief so bad, but the more I learned the less I believed. But rather than spread over a couple years it was compressed into several days.
Sometime within the next few days I will create my new, unlocked blog. As soon as I have, I will type the letters comprising the url into this blog.
I didn't read through this entry, so please correct the type-os and stuff in your mind/brain.
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