Odor in the court.

Today I had a court appearance. I am trying to see if I can get some money back from the 600$ worth of tickets I was burdened with for driving the car i recently purchased without having yet registered it in my name. I promptly registered the car in my name as soon as I was able, after receiving the ticket, and am hoping the Judge will show me leniency for clearing up the problem. I have had luck with this before.

But it turns out this Judge has pretty strong feelings against flip-flops. On the paper which notified me of my court date was also guidelines of what was appropriate to wear in court. No mention was made of flip-flops so I thought I would be fine.

When the Judge came into the court, after we all rose then sat back down, the first thing he said was, 'anyone wearing ______(a list of unacceptable court clothes), please notify the bailiff then reschedule.' Obviously, one of the things he mentioned was flip-flops. Many of the people around me seemed to have noticed what was on my feet when I had entered, and when the judge made his announcement several people made comments like 'oh...Busted!'. I thought it was so funny! It was said with such sincerity! That mix of both empathy but also pleasure in seeing someone else get in trouble. It was funny how adult life can instantly become like little kid life once we are placed in those roles again.

I am curious what goes through this judge's mind when he decides to forbid those wearing flip-flops. Is it an ego thing? Does he enjoy being able to exercise his authority by creating for his courtroom rules more strict than the general court rules? Or does he feel it actually matters if people are too casual about their court experience? That if he lets small things slip through the cracks it will lead to a general disrespect for the court, leading to less effective legal proceedings? I lean towards it being apart of his ego. Relishing in the ability to have his will legally enforced and taking advantage it every way he can.

I was able to reschedule and in looking through a paper I was given informing me of my rights I was surprised to see that I am eligible to request a jury trial even though my crime was so minor. I could imagine requesting a jury trial would negatively effect my chances, I mean, who do I think I am requesting a jury for a minor traffic violation? People would likely feel cheesed at me for wasting their time. But I like imagining it anyway.
Walking back and forth in front of the Judge, saying things like , 'Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, LOOK AT THIS FACE!' I then reveal a 5 ft by 10 ft photograph of my face. 'And ask yourself, is the face of a man you think should have to pay 600$ for such a minor violation? Now look at THIS face' I then unveil a large mirror 'Now, is THIS the face of someone you want to pay 600$ for a minor violation? For are we all not one? All cut from the same cloth, all made by the same almighty? Just remember, that whatever you choose for me, you are choosing for yourself.'

As the entire court wipes the tears from their ugly faces,(I imagine an ugly jury) I am carried out of the courtroom on the shoulders of the jury, all of us singing 'Free at last, free at last I thank God I'm free at last'. As hundreds of reporters flock us outside, asking questions and taking take flash photos. The next day newspapers across the globe would have front page headline along the lines of 'Local hero frees the nation from a 600$ ticket.' And 'The most landmark court case since Roe v. Wade, our nation is forever changed.'